History IS interesting!
Not-so-ninja cat… September 23, 2008
So I came home yesterday to find this…
My cat Ginger is the master of opening things. I used to have child locks on all my cabinets when I lived in my apartment, and now that I’m in my house, I have to put a rubber band around the handles of the doors to my washer and dryer because she somehow gets those open. As you can see, she also likes to open the cabinet where I keep all my spare Wal-Mart/Kroger bags.
Apparently, my other cat, Fred, decided he also wanted to play in the bags. It didn’t work out so well for him (see below). He somehow got one of the handles wrapped around his waist and ran around freaking out, trying to get it off. My animals are special.
Ninja Cat… September 22, 2008
I saw this video on Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch blog today, and I thought it was freaking hilarious. This cat has Chuck Norris skills. You know you want those…
A desk-to-the-face waiting to happen… September 18, 2008
I saw this article in the New York Times today. Seems like an interesting idea. I don’t know how accurate my typing would be at 2 miles an hour, but it would be cool to give it a shot!
Overheard in…Birmingham September 14, 2008
QUOTE #1:
Location: very loud restaurant playing loud music and having a trivia contest
Jason: “My butt hurts.”
Me: “Your butt?”
Jason: “My BUTT. B-U-T-T-ASS!”
QUOTE #2:
Location: bathroom, getting ready for Alabama game, right after I’ve just put my hair into what I thought was a kinda cute bun
Brooks: “You look like one of those really religious people who don’t wear pants.”
Crest Whitestrips experiment… August 28, 2008
So I thought I would try out some Crest Whitestrips I got recently and document my progress to see what happened over the 7 days. Below are the results:
Day 1:
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
Day 5:
Day 6:
Day 7:
Day 8:
(haha, just kidding)
Results: I don’t think they made any difference…my teeth were pretty white to start with…and Crest Whitestrips make me gag. Now you all see what I do at work. Experiment concluded.
Have a great Labor Day everyone! (or, the three of you that read this…)
Quote of the day… August 22, 2008
Me, to my groceries as I was bringing them in this afternoon: “Stand the fuck up, MILK!”
Yeah, I’d be embarrassed if anyone ever heard the things I say out loud when I’m alone…
That poor camel, wandering out there somewhere without his toe… August 21, 2008
I was checking out a group of photos today of celebrities and their fashion faux pas, and this one just struck me as funny. We all know Kim Kardashian as being famous for…I don’t know, having a huge ass and a sex tape with Ray-J that no one has seen? Still, she decides to dress herself up in God-awful get-ups and make the party circuit. This one is especially heinous. Check out the pic and the commentary below that some clever person at MSN added to it. Some people have no shame…or full-length mirrors…
Mickey Double-D’s: Kim Kardashian probably spent hours deciding on a suitable outfit for this McDonald’s event. After all, it’s not every day you meet a dignitary as illustrious as Mayor McCheese. Unfortunately, in her eagerness to impress, the talent-impaired brunette makes a
… more major faux pas, stepping out in an overloaded bikini top that exposes her all-beef patties (at least her khaki, girls-gone-wild-on-safari short-alls cover up her oft-seen sesame seed buns, if not her heartbreaking case of cameltoe). That’s not the only fashion crime she commits, however. Just out of camera range, the Hamburglar quietly seethes over Kim’s blatant co-opting of his signature hat and plots his revenge, which he figures will involve hurling large amounts of special sauce and several Filets-O-Fish.
One of the best TV shows you probably aren’t watching: “Jurassic Fight Club” August 18, 2008
I loved dinosaurs when I was a kid. I always wanted to go to natural history museums to see their bones, and I ended up spending all my money in the museum gift shop buying tons of books about them. I had a favorite: the triceratops; I thought he was both cute and menacing, something every little girl strives to be (or, at least, that’s how most of them appear to me). I even had Converse hi-top sneakers with dinosaurs all over them (do not be alarmed–that loud sound you’re hearing is just my “cool points” skyrocketing). So when I read a review of the History Channel’s “Jurassic Fight Club” in the New York Times, I ran straight to my DVR to set that up.
“Jurassic Fight Club” is kind of like a combination of “CSI” and any dinosaur film you ever had to watch in science class growing up. It starts by describing (dramatically) the discovery of a few sets of bones in one particular location, and goes on to surmise what happened there to kill those dinosaurs. They use a CT scanner on the skulls, check out teeth marks on the bones, and study the environment the bones were found in to try to put together the deadly scenario. All the while, they are discussing the history of the dinosaur and the various natural weapons on their bodies that would make them particularly menacing (teeth that point backwards, anyone?).
The show is hosted by a guy named “Dinosaur George” (who I plan on inviting to my next birthday party based on his name alone), who really gets excited talking about dinosaurs. I really think he recites the cast of “Jurassic Park” while he’s beating off, he just loves it THAT much. And he always wears a nifty vest. There’s also a deep-voiced narrator who leads into every commercial break with such dramatic cliff-hangers that you can’t help but picture them being quoted by David Caruso while he puts on his sunglasses.
The best part is the last 10 minutes or so of the show, where they’ve put together a CGI reenactment of what they think happened between the dinosaurs to leave their shattered bones where they were found millions of years later by nerds who like to play in the dirt. There’s an ominous warning typed on the screen before the battle begins, stating “you are about to see a graphic reenactment of a prehistoric ass-whooping” or something like that, and then the throw-down begins. It’s not as graphic as they would like you to believe (computer animation can only take you so far), but it’s entertainment.
The first episode, entitled “Cannibal Dinosaur” starred a male/female pairing of majungasauruses (majungasauri?). Long story short, the dude wants to hook up with the chick, but she’s got her kid with her and isn’t gonna give up the goods. He figures he’s gotta stomp the kid if he ever wants her to spread ‘em, so he goes after Junior. Bitch flips and slams him with her tail, but somehow trips over a log in typical “girl in a horror movie” fashion. Dude takes that opportunity to pick up the kid and slam his skull against a tree. Mom recovers and nails the guy, but realizes her rug rat has already bit it. Get this: she then EATS HER KID…WHOLE. No tears, no ketchup, just brunch. Then she turns to m-f’er she left twitching in the dust after she apparently bit right through his spinal cord, rips his stomach open and takes a big mouthful of his liver. Game over.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like good family fun to me. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Even through all the CGI carnage, you might learn something.
